When women get together at work for a little chat, they
sometimes come away saying they had a "bitch session." That
usually comes as no surprise to a casual passerby. The sharp
tone of their voices makes it clear that they're "bitching."
It can also be a little unnerving, especially if their voices
drop as you approach. That could mean they're "bitching"
about you.
Bosses have negative opinions about "bitching," and they
usually dismiss it as "idle chatter," or "vicious gossip."
Here's a definition of "bitching" used by Patty Sotirin from
Michigan Technological University: "A form of talk among
working women expressing negative feelings and evaluations
through pointed, personalized observations about people,
events, or conditions."
Professor Sotirin isn't so sure it's a good idea to dismiss
"bitching" as managers often do. She conducted a study to
look at it more closely. (Incidentally, "bitching" is the
term Ms. Sotirin used.)
Sotirin accompanied four secretaries throughout their
typical work days and participated in their informal talk.
She analyzed dozens of their conversations, and she made
several conclusions.
"Bitching" serves several functions in an organization, and
it is often unclear which function is being served. This
creates a tension in the interpersonal relationships in an
organization. Here are some examples:
"Bitching" is a force of accommodation which pressures
individuals to adjust their own attitudes and behaviors to
meet the demands of the social group. By invoking the fear
of social exclusion and of "what people might say,"
secretaries are able to maintain a proper group identity of
conduct and appearance. They also drastically reduce the
attractiveness of alternatives that might otherwise entice
individuals, such as unorthodox hair styles, or casual living
arrangements with the boss.
"Bitching" is also a force of resistance which musters the
antagonisms of individuals toward the leaders of the
organization - the bosses - who are typically male.
"Bitching" is a refusal to comply with managers' desires that
secretaries be feminine and dispassionate. It is their
rejection of pressure from managers to comply.
"Bitching" can stimulate a network if interactions that
temporarily forge alliances and stimulate flights of
imagination that create grand schemes of resistance.
During times of transition, "bitching" can be used as an
instrument to affect change in ways which may not be best for
the organization as a whole.
The secretaries Professor Sotirin observed frequently spoke
of the importance of "being nice" when they "bitched," but
they used this expression to refer to two different ideas.
"Being nice" required people to mask intense, negative
feelings and to constrain themselves so they could
consistently project a professional image.
"Being nice" also required people to care for others and to
be careful about their feelings. It invoked interpersonal
care-taking as a standard for office conduct.
These two meanings, to be professionally nice and to be
interpersonally nice, created tension when the correct
meaning was unclear.
Finally, "bitching" defined and enforced a traditional image
of femininity for secretaries and thereby marginalized
deviations from this standard (such as the occasional unlucky
male occupying a traditionally female occupation).
Professor Sotirin recognized "bitching" as a fragmented,
contradictory, and limited mode of struggle against
management authority, but she believes it is significant
because of the tension it creates. She urges a greater
appreciation of its effects.
Now you are aware.
Reference: Sotirin, Patty and Heidi Gottfried (1997) The Ambivalent Dynamics of Secretarial "Bitching": Control, Resistance, and Identity. Academy of Management Best Paper Proceedings from the Fifty-Seventh Annual Meeting of the Academy of Management, 448-452.
Business Practice Findings, by James Larsen, Ph.D.
Secretarial "Bitching"
Research provides a better understanding of complaining.